


My Strange Addiction

by DEMONICS



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: AFAB Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist), Adult Alphonse Elric, Adult Edward Elric, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate names, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual Edward Elric, Bisexual Male Character, Bottom Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist), Character Bashing, Cheating, Cheating Edward Elric, Closeted Bisexual, Depression, Domestic Disputes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, I know there's an EdWin tag but don't get your hopes too high, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Little bit of a slow burn, Multi, Mutual Pining, Name Changes, Nonbinary Character, Original Character(s), Pillow Talk, Self-Hatred, Social Anxiety, They/Them Pronouns for Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist), i think about this a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:20:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DEMONICS/pseuds/DEMONICS
Summary: Young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes,Some mistakes get made that's alright, that's okay, you can think that you're in love when you're really just in pain.Some mistakes get made that's alright, that's okay, in the end it's better for me,That's the moral of the story, babe.
Relationships: Edward Elric & Envy, Edward Elric & Winry Rockbell, Edward Elric/Envy, Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell, Greed/Original Character(s), Mei Chan | May Chang/Alphonse Elric
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. What'd You Wanna Fight About Today?

Have you ever had a person who you've grown up with and they've became like family to you,

But then as the two of you got older you both start developing romantic feelings for each other, but those feelings are so new you can't tell if it's a crush, adoration or... sexual teenage slash youngadult urges.

But.... despite all the possibilities of it being a... sprung of the moment kind of feeling and you have no idea if you _romantically_ want to be with them or if you just wanna shag 'em..

And even though you've romanticized the **idea** that the two of you are compatible and completely brush off the fact that both your personalities more often than not.. clash...

But, you _still_ persist and end up together because you've got it in your head that ' _This is the person I'm_ _ **supposed**_ _to fall in love(?) with, right?'._

You've ever know a person like that?

Because I... don't think that I... _lov_ e Winryー I mean, I don't **hate** her, I haven't.. got a reason to.

She's my girlfriend and, I mean, I love her in a way, **sure.**

It's just... Do couples argue? I mean I know couples have disagreements, _all_ relationships have disagreements, **obviously**!

But do couples, like, **argue** argue? Like do they get **heated,** and absolutely **livid** with each other.   
You'll, prolly say, ' _Sure! You_ _ **just said**_ _that couples fight, it's normal!'_

But how often is it okay to argue and explode at each otherー really, I'm wondering, because... This is killing me, this is, like, tearing me apart right now..

Really, sincerely, I mean this completely seriously when I say thatー

_The_ _**only** _ _time we seem to get along is when we're_ _**fucking.** _

And **angry** sex can only get so appealing until it getsー not only repetitive, but also extremely worrying. It's gotten to the point where she'll get ontop of me if the argument gets to heated and loud.

I dunno, maybe I'm looking too deep into this.. maybe I'm over thinking things, I mean.. I sure do love waking up next to herー and no we don't live together, but she does stay overnight a lot.

Her sleeping face is so beautiful m̶̶a̶̶i̶̶n̶̶l̶̶y̶ ̶b̶̶e̶̶c̶̶a̶̶u̶̶s̶̶e̶ s̶̶h̶̶e̶̶'̶̶s̶ ̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶ ̶b̶̶u̶̶g̶̶g̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶ ̶m̶̶e̶ ̶b̶̶u̶̶t̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶a̶̶t̶̶'̶̶s̶ ̶n̶̶e̶̶i̶̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶ ̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶ ̶n̶̶o̶̶r̶ t̶̶h̶̶e̶̶r̶̶e̶̶.

She looks so peaceful w̶̶h̶̶e̶̶n̶ ̶s̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶i̶̶s̶̶n̶̶'̶̶t̶ ̶f̶̶u̶̶c̶̶k̶̶e̶̶n̶ ̶y̶̶e̶̶l̶̶l̶̶i̶̶n̶̶g̶.

Still, after all of the overthinking, I still find myself pulling her sleeping form close and kissing her forehead.   
I sigh into her hair and enjoy the small bit of bliss we have right in this moment.

She stirs a little and I felt her kiss my adams apple. Winry looked up at me with a, still a bit sleepy, look on her face.

And I sat up, leaning on my elbow as I looked down at her with the same look.

_What'd you wanna fight about today?_

“How're you feeling?” I'm obviously not gonna say what I thought, it's too fucking early in the afternoon to have a death wish.

Winry stretched a little and turned onto her back, the blanket shifts and slid off her bare chest a little bit.

Honestly, I don't know why that's what my mind went to first but... Whatever-God knows I love titty..

“I'm okayy,” She yawned. “My back hurts a little bit from last night...~” Gee, I wonder why..

I huffed a chuckle and sat up completely. “You probably slept in a weird position.” I was teasing her, obviously, I knew what she wantedー a massage.   
I took peak at her through the corner of my eye to see her giving me a pout with her arms crossed. _Heh!_

“Heh.., you're cute but, it's not gonna happen, baby.. Take some painkillers.” I'm too tired,   
even though it's two in the afternoon and people would often expect you to be up and productive in two in the afternoonー I don't care, leave my sleep deprived, headache having, depressed ass alone..!

I already have a lot on my head anyway, it's only two weeks until my 20th birthday I̶'̶̶m̶ ̶n̶̶o̶̶t̶ ̶i̶̶n̶ ̶t̶̶h̶̶e̶ ̶m̶̶o̶̶o̶̶d̶ ̶y̶̶o̶̶u̶̶'̶̶d̶ ̶e̶̶x̶̶p̶̶e̶̶c̶̶t̶ ̶m̶̶e̶ ̶t̶̶o̶ ̶b̶̶e̶̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶k̶̶n̶̶o̶̶w̶. and I already have people annoyingly asking me what Iー

“By the way, Ed, what'd you want for your birthday?” **_Hoo_** ** _boyy_** ** _!_** I shrugged while slipping on sweatpants. “Nothing..”

“Oh, _c'mon,_ Ed!” Winry whined and I feel her arms wrap around my torso from behind.

“What's something I can get you that'll make you happy?”

 _Probably fucking nothing.._ “I don't want anything, Win..”

“Butー”

“Oh my God, just don't fuckinuggghhh...” I groan and rubbed my hands through my hair to tie it up.

“Don't fuckin' get me anything, alright? Just _don't,_ I don't want shit!” Did I mention that I've been getting irritated with her lately? Because I am..

She scoffed and stomped into the bathroom, probably to shower, with _the most_ bitchy 'hmph!' I've ever heard.

Whatever, that wasn't even an argument worth expanding on, anywaysー and _she_ knows that. But I _just know_ it's gonna come back later, I just know it.

Winry never lets shit like that go, like at all, but....

I'll deal with it whenever that happens.


	2. Eugh..

Y'know after Winry left this morning.. I feel,,, weird..

Like, eugh.. It's like I'm trying to get rid of something that's stuck at the back of my throat..

"Eugch!"

"Uggh.."

"Ech!"

Those sounds apparently represent how I feel right now,

"You have _such_ an amazing way with words, d'you know that, brother?"

 _OH!_ "Screw you, Al..! This is just how I feel today, _eugh_ _!_ "

"You feel 'eugh'?" I can only see him from the corner of my eyeー I kinda need my eyes on the road, but I _know_ he's cracking a smile at me.

"I feel _EUGH_ _!"_ He laughed at me, _me,_ _his older brother,_ this is treason of the highest degree...

Whatever, laugh it up! I know it's vague, but I don't even know a better wordー _''word''_ , eugh isn't a fuckin word.

I don't know how to better describe what I'm feeling in a way other than, _eugh_ _!_

I kinda just wanna zone out and fade away for fifteen minutes, maybe.. Like, fade outta existence and come back whenever I feel better.

Like, I knowー makes zero sense, but... I just kinda need a break,

From the _**world**_!

I feel winded, like I just had to deal with the worlds biggest fuckin load of laundryー I feel weighted, I don't wanna deal with anything..

Especially people, I might not actively _try_ to avoid it, but I don't like human interaction all that much.  
I can only handle hanging out with one small group of people at a time..

Even though I haven't really been doing too much as in hanging out with my tight nit group of friends and Alphonse,

It feels like my socializing battery is running outー I just wanna sleep.

But I should keep my eyes on the road and focus where I'm headed... and,, try not to miss the exit for the second time. My thoughts feel so heavy at the momentー well, they always do, but that's not important right now.

Anyways, the reason why me and Al are on the road right now is to pick up a friend of mine from the airport,

and I could argue that the reason I feel _eugh_ is because I had to wake up crazy early today and shoo Winry outta my house after she showered.

But today... everything feels... different... for some reason.. I guess I'll figure it out when I run into the problem in person, maybe..

"Hey, Ed?"

"Mhm?" I glance briefly at Al, I only caught a small glimpse but I think he's going through his phone.

"I don't remember if I asked, but how long have you known Makaylie?" I guess I never really mentioned, Makaylie is an internet friendー

I made a joke on Twitter and apparently she was one of my followers and she quote tweeted it with a funny response and we went on a back and forwards, and we started talking and became good friends in dms. We even exchanged Discords and we've had multiple calls together and she's introduced me to some of her friends tooー three of them actually live here.

So, recounting all of that... Holy shit..  
"I think.. we've known each other for almost... three years? Maybe three and a half?"

"Seriously? That's crazy, it must all feel a little overwhelming to finally meet her face to face in person instead of over the phone, huh brother?"  
Al sounded really happy to meet her too, but the way he phrased that made me wanna nervous vomit.

" **GEEZ,** Al..! It feels like you're _trying_ to make me nervousー I wasn't before!"

He laughed again, more at the situation than at me and I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit too. "Iー heheh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!"

"I _know_! But, to be honest I guess I am a little nervous now that I think about it, y'know?

I've only spoken to her online, sure I know what she looks and sounds like but I'm still kinda shaky to _meet_ meet her."

"But you're still happy and excited though, right?"

I chuckle, because yeah I _am_ happy and excited.. I'm also terrified, nervous and overwhelmed.  
"Yeah... with a mixture of _other_ emotions."

"Well she _is_ _veerrryy_ pretty, brotherー"

" _Shut up_!"

During all of the continuous teasing and unnecessary friendly sibling bullying we finally made it to the airport parking lot. As me and Al got out of the car,  
I decided to call Makaylie to let her know we made it-- she texted me earlier when I was at a red light saying that she was landing.

"Kay?"

_**"Hey, Ed! Are you in the airport?"** _

"Yeah, me and Al just got here. We're at the front, my car is a red Honda..

What about you, are you near the front gate already?" I heard Al quietly say next to me, _'She just got here, brother'_.

 _**"Almost, I just got out of baggage claimー you said you were outside?"** _

"Yeah, we are.."

 ** _"What're you guys wearing? So I know what to look for.."_**  
I can't help but snort at thatー the way that's phrased sounds kinda wrong out of context.

"I mean,, you already know what my face looks like.. uhh....

I'm wearing a red Thrasher hoodie.. my sleeves are rolled up, andー"  
I looked at Al, who seemed confused for a sec as to why I was describing what I was wearing to her.

".. Al is wearing a cat shirt with a stupid pun and an open blue button up.."

I give Al smug smirk after he sent me an angry pout and a glare, he mumbled something like _'It's not a stupid pun'ー_

_**"Uhh.. okay, Iー OH, I think I see you guys!"** _

Oh, alreadー "Edward!!" _**JESUS FUCK!**_ My heart wanted to jump outta my fuckin chest!

But when I looked over my heart wants jump out for a whole new different reason now.. After I hung up,, I barely even realised that I ran up to meet her halfway.

The way I hugged her and hefted her off her feet, causing her to drop her rolling bag and hug me back.  
To any outsider, it looked like two lovers reuniting after ages of being apart.

We were laughing and crying, and after I set her down she cupped my faceー almost like she was trying to make sure I was real. I carefully take her wrists and smile, probably the biggest smile I've had for a while.

"I'm here.. Heh!" I say and she giggled through her happy tears.

"You're taller than I imagined!" She said.

"Eheheh! And you're _smaller_ than I imagined!" She playfully nudged me for that comment, and we hugged again.

I think.. It's gonna take awhile for me to get off this happy adrenaline, heh..

But, y'know, for some reason,

I suddenly feel less _eugh.._


End file.
